Five Tips for Good Coaching Questions, Part 5

In my last blog, I talked about Tip #4 for asking a good coaching question. Let's look at Tip #5 today.

Five Tips for Good Coaching Questions

1. Keep them Open
2. Keep them Short and Stupid
3. Keep them Advice-Free
4. Keep them Forward-Focused
5. Keep them Thought Provoking

5. Keep them Thought Provoking

If a coachee asks you for coaching, chances are that the person has thought about the coaching issue for a long time, in multiple ways. They have thought about the causes, possible solutions and everything in between. Now they need you to help them think bigger than what's in front of them.

As a manager, you want to empower your employees to think out of the box and find innovative solutions to their problems. The problems could be task-related, such as "how to improve sales" or they could be process-related, such as "how to collaborate better with the team". Thought-provoking questions work in both situations. Either way, it's important to help the coachee think bigger than their usual ideas.

Thought provoking questions may take awhile to answer, so it's OK if the employee doesn't have an immediate reply. You want the employee to think about the question and really look at it from all angles before answering. The sign of a good thought-provoking question is when the employee comes to you a week after you asked the question and says, "I've been mulling your question over. It really made me think."

So how do you do this? When an employee comes to you with a problem, think about questions that will stretch the employee - questions that cannot be answered right away.

Here's an example:

Coachee:

I'm certain that Plan X is the right way to go but I'm getting vibes that others disagree with me. What do I do?

Typical manager reply:

I think Plan X is a good idea too. So I think you should hold a meeting to discuss your points and persuade the others that your plan is the best.

Better coaching question:
Where will Plan X take the company, and this team, in 10 years? And where will it take you personally in 10 years?
(This will likely prompt the coachee to ask for more time to think about the question. The coach would then invite the coachee to let her know when she's ready to discuss it in more detail.)


In my next blog, I'll discuss more tips about using the word "why" in coaching questions.

Five Tips for Good Coaching Questions, Part 4

In my last blog, I talked about Tip #3 for asking a good coaching question. Let's look at Tip #4 today.

Five Tips for Good Coaching Questions

1. Keep them Open
2. Keep them Short and Stupid
3. Keep them Advice-Free
4. Keep them Forward-Focused
5. Keep them Thought Provoking

4. Keep them Forward Focused
As a manager, it's easy to stay in the past and constantly fight fires. It's hard to lift your head from your daily tasks and actually get a sense of where your ship is heading. I get it. At one point in my career, I managed 2 hotels and a safari camp in Africa, with a total of 400+ staff and 400+ guests. I know what it's like to barely manage my workload, let alone plan for the future.

Yet, it's a manager's job to get out of the weeds, stay forward focused and coach your employees to do the same. Otherwise, you and your team will barely move forward; you'll just stay in the same place, treading water.

So how do you do this? When an employee comes to your with a problem, take a step back and try to see how this problem could impact the department's strategic vision. Think about how the solution to the problem will impact the team, and organization, in a year. This will give you and your employee a very different perspective.

Here's an example:

Coachee:
I can't work with Sue anymore. She cut me off again in today's meeting. I want you to talk to her about it.

Typical manager reply:
She did? What did she say? Then what did you say? Then what was her reply? Let me have a word with her.... (This line of questions keeps the coachee in the past, and dis-empowers her from finding her own solution.)

Better coaching question:
Coach: I can see that you're angry about this. What upsets you the most?

Coachee: The fact that she doesn't respect my ideas.

Coach: I get it. What's your contribution to the problem?

Coachee: Me? I dunno....maybe I don't stand up for myself when she cuts me off.

Coach: And how does that impact the organization?

Coachee: My ideas don't contribute to the bottom line.

Coach: That's a big loss. What would happen if you stood up for yourself?

Coachee: I'd be more excited about working here. I'd speak up more. And listen more, because I wouldn't be fuming in meetings. I'd collaborate better with others because I felt heard.

Coach: So how do you want to handle this in the future?

Coachee: I'll remind Sue that I wasn't finished with my thoughts and then finish them. Then I'll listen to what she and others have to say about my idea.

Coach: Great! I know this will be hard at first...I also know that you can do it. Keep me posted on your progress.

In my next blog, I'll discuss Tip #4. Until then...stay forward focused!