Fifteen Minutes of Fame

One of my clients recently told me that everyone wants to be "slightly famous". I agreed that 15 minutes of fame would be nice. Until I did the first event for my book, "A Manager's Guide to Coaching". The idea of a book signing is exciting...glamorous...even fun. However, as the day drew close, I grew neurotic about the event.

First of all, what do you actually say at a book signing? I have no problem meeting people at networking events. After all, I am an executive coach. It's my job to engage people by asking thought-provoking questions. But that's when I have time to talk to someone. Book signing is like speed dating. "Hi. What interests you about coaching?" could bring on ten minutes of conversation, while other people wait in line. I had no idea what to say.

Then there's the inscription. What exactly do you write? "To Joe, From Anne" sounds too much like a holiday card to a neighbor. "Happy Coaching, Joe!" sounds too cheery. "May all your dreams come true" sounds like the good witch in The Wizard of Oz. I had no clue what to write.

I next panicked about my signature. My hand writing is tiny chicken scratch. My signature is literally a cursive "A" with a line. No one ever believes it's my real signature. Even the banks question my signature on a check. So should I fake my signature and legibly write out my name? I like to give my clients value, so will my book be more valuable on EBay in 10 years with my real signature, or a fake one? I was now frozen with fear.

And finally, there's the wardrobe. The book is written in a fairly hip and trendy style. But the book event audience is a conservative, business group. So what do I wear? I start to wonder why I didn't hire that fashion consultant last month and what ever inspired me to grow out my hair, resulting in the flying nun look? I eventually manage to pull together an outfit and tame my hair, but at this point I am nauseous as I enter the room. Maybe being slightly famous is not what I want after all.

I settle myself behind the table and start to greet people as they approach. The first person says says that he's looking forward to learning how to improve company morale with coaching. A mother wants to use the book's coaching model to improve her relationship with her teenage daughter. A school principle wants to incorporate some of the coaching questions into new curriculum. A CEO wants to create a coaching program for her organization.

I relax. I see that it doesn't matter what I wear or write in the book; it's not about me. I start to smile as I remember that this is why I wrote the book. To make a difference in people's lives. To give them tools that will help them deepen conversations, whether at home or at work. To help companies operate more effectively. If this is what book signings are about, then I'm happy to be slightly famous for tonight, so that my book can change a few people's lives tomorrow.

Celebrating Accomplishments

I admit it. I'm a hypocrite. I tell my clients to celebrate their milestone achievements, but I rarely do it myself. Take my upcoming book, "A Manager's Guide to Coaching" for example. Did my co-author and I celebrate when we got an agent? No..we panicked on how to write a book proposal. Did we pop the champagne when we got a publisher? Uhhh...we got excited on the phone for about 10 minutes; does that count? Did we party when the manuscript was complete? Hmmm..I think we managed to email each other a congratulatory email a week later. And now that our book is available on Amazon.com and about to hit the bookstores, have we celebrated? No. In fact, it took a congratulatory email from a friend to remind me that I should probably plan a party.

Don't get me wrong. I AM excited! This book is one of my major life dreams. I'm secretly smiling on the inside; I'm just not very good at celebrating on the outside. Why? The usual excuses. "I'm too busy. It's not *that* big of a deal. I'll celebrate after we sell the first 100,000 copies." The problem is that I'm always planning for the future instead of living out today. I'm always saying "When this happens...then I'll celebrate." Hello? This has happened! I have published a book with a major publishing house! If now is not the time to celebrate, when is?!

I should know better. After all, I am an executive coach who tells people to take the time to celebrate their success. I know the positive psychological impact celebrations can bring to a team and to individuals. My husband is great at celebrating. He's always getting a DVD or a new gadget for himself because he reached one of his goals. I'm secretly jealous; I want to get a new DVD or toy for myself! But he's not stopping me. No one is stopping me but myself, my internal stories and my external patterns.

So guess what? I'm going to make the time to celebrate with a big party. And you're all invited! Why? Because slowing down to relish this major milestone will help me move forward to the next milestone of selling 100,000 books. It's an important step to recognize all of my accomplishments, big and small.

So if I can do it, you can too. What are you going to celebrate today?