Gen Y Tip #1: Creating a "New Generation Board"

No, this isn't a new board game to play at the office. This is an idea to let your Gen Y employees have a voice and share their ideas. We all expect the company Executive Board to oversee and help solve organizational challenges, right? Why not create a "My Generation Board" as well? This new board would also oversee and help solve certain aspects of the organizational challenges. My guess is that they'd find unique ideas that no one has thought of before! And if you allow them to help execute their ideas, you'll be able to retain them for longer. A win-win for everyone!

Three Ways to Motivate Gen Y

The pulse of business in America is throbbing. People are concerned about the financial crisis, economy and upcoming elections. Despite this uncertainty, organizational attrition rates are high, up to 20% for some large firms. So what can leaders do to not only retain Gen Y employees, but get the most out of them during these lean times?

Yahoo! HotJobs and Robert Half International's special report, What Millennial Workers Want: How to Attract and Retain Gen Y Employees outlines the business imperative for developing Gen Y to become future leaders. The first place to look is your workplace environment, especially their colleagues, their life-work balance and their direct supervisor.

Let's start with their colleagues. The surprising thing about this wired generation is that two-thirds of Gen Y favor in-person conversations with their co-workers over other types of communication. So today's businesses need to create lots of "face time" opportuntities that allow Gen Y's to connect with each other. This doesn't have to involve costly meals or cafeterias. You could create open seating areas for team project meetings, comfortable lunch rooms and/or fun break rooms or water cooler areas.

Work-life balance is another huge priority for Gen Y. They are constantly looking for ways to balance their personal and professional lives. As a manager, lend them your ear and support. Let them know that you understand they have a life outside the office and guide them to tools and resources that will help them find their own balance.

What about their boss? How does a direct supervisor directly impact the job satisfaction and retention of Gen Y? Their dream boss has good management and communcation skills, is flexible and open-minded, and respects his/her employees. Be warned: Millennials are used to constant and direct supervision from parents, teachers and sport coaches; they expect the same from their bosses, thinking nothing of communicating with their boss several times a DAY!

Gen Y bosses must focus on their own skill development, in order to coach their Gen Y employees to greater success. Your Gen Y employees may not stay with you forever, but they will stay longer if you give them the skills and development they need to get to the next level of success. According to one Gen Y in the report, "...the ideal manager has clear expectations and takes time to meet with me...must be able to help me grow and guide me in my professional development, and be a mentor." Her nightmare boss is " a micromanager who is not concerned with my professional development...". Although it may take more time up front, it's clear that Gen Y bosses must be strong managers with excellent coaching and mentoring skills. Not there yet? Get some resources to help you now! You can download the Yahoo! HotJobs and Robert Half International's special report for free here. I also highly recommend Millennials Incorporated by Lisa Orrell, a quick read with plenty of tips and advice. Or feel free to ask me about my workshops, talks and latest Gen Y research.

Who is Gen Y and why should you care about them?

Everyone wants to know how to effectively work with Gen Y. But before you can even work with them effectively, you need to understand them. Here are some fast facts:

• Gen Y was born between 1982-2002. In comparison, Baby Boomers were born between 1943-1960 and Gen X was born between 1961-1981.

• The Gen Y generation is bigger than the Baby Boomer generation, by as much as 2 million people.

• Gen Y is also known as the Millennial generation, because the first Gen Y’ers graduated from high school in 2000.

• Gen Y was influenced by 9/11, Enron and Bill Clinton. They are hopeful, social, outspoken, goal orientated, inclusive, inquisitive and ambitious.

• They grew up with computers so understand technology intuitively and multi-task well. Consequently, they are connected, visual and prefer working interactively.

• They value work-life balance, making a difference in the world, developing their skills, honesty, integrity and recognition for their work.

• They expect to be developed in their job. Even if you can’t promote them, they expect you to give them the skills they need for their next job. As one Gen Y explained to me, “Why should I invest my time in a company if they’re not going to invest in improving my skills?”

Many companies complain about Gen Y and how hard it is to retain them. I get that. Every generation has a challenge working with the next generation. However, giving them everything they want is not the solution. So what does a good leader do to get the most out of Gen Y?

Be clear with them
From day one, be sure to discuss their role, your expectations and their 3, 6, 9 and 12 month goals. Then be sure to give them immediate feedback, good and bad. They respond well to honest, transparent comments, so let them know sooner than later how they’re doing on the job.

Coach them
Gen Y has been coached since they could walk…in soccer, hockey and other team sports. They are used to having a coach work with them. So hone your coaching skills and ask them questions to get their input. They will be much more involved and ready to improve if they are part of the solution.

Create a mentoring program
Gen Y responds well to elders, as many were very involved with their grandparents as children. Create a mentor program for them, so they have another leader to go to with their problems. This not only helps you, but it also helps them access different resources at different times.

Develop their skills
This doesn’t have to cost a lot of money. Allowing them to work with different teams or on different projects will improve their skills and make them more loyal to your organization.

Be open minded
Don’t be surprised when a Gen Y asks you “why” for the 10th time in an hour. This may seem disrespectful to Baby Boomers, but Gen just wants to understand the goal to see if they can improve it with the connectivity and technology. So be open-minded with them; explain the desired outcome and let them try to find a new solution. It’ll keep them motivated, and may save you time and resources.

Make it fun
Gen Y thrives on fun. Not cheesy fun. Real fun! So get their input on how to make the office more fun. You’ll be surprised at what they come up with.

Gen Y gets a lot of bad press; many people ask why they even have to work with Gen Y. The bottom line is that these young professionals are here to stay; their sheer size alone will revolutionize how businesses operate. So take some time and get to know them. They’re a lot more fun and energizing than most people think! And that energy may just help you take your company to the next level of success.

These are just a few of my top tips on how to get the best out of Gen Y. For more ideas, feel free to ask me about my workshops, talks and latest research.

How to Manage Gen Y

"What do we do with Gen Y?" is being echoed daily on the internet, in the press and by the office water cooler. When I mention to friends that my next book is full of tips and tools to get the best out of Gen Y at work, I always get pulled aside for some advice on how to handle this generation at work. While there are blogs and online articles to help managers successfully work with Gen Y, there are few books that give practical solutions. My favorite book, Millennials Incorporated by Lisa Orrell, is a gem for HR managers. My favorite blog is by Tammy Erickson; you can find her musings on this generation on businessweek.com

I'll be focusing my next blogs on managing Gen Y for the best results. In the meantime, I wanted to leave you with this quote on managing Gen Y from Jim Collins, management expert and author of Good to Great and Built to Last, excerpted from the August 25 issue of Business Week:

"I don't understand this generational tension thing other than that I think the tension is great. You should find a way to have young people in your face all the time. Wrestle with is. Revel in it. Learn from it. My view is, we ought to get those people into positions of leadership as fast as we can."

How to Effectively Motivate

In 1968, the Harvard Business Review (HBR) published Frederick Herzberg's article, "One more time: how do you motivate employees?". This is still one of the most widely read HBR articles ever. The most important paragraph in the article says: "If I kick my dog (from the front or the back), he will move. And when I want him to move again, what must I do? I must kick him again. Similarly, I can charge a person's battery, and then re-charge it, and re-charge it again. But it is only when one has a generator of one's own that we can talk about motivation. One then needs no outside stimulation. One wants to do it."

How many times do we "re-charge" an employee's battery, thinking it will bring better results? I did it all the time as a new manager. I wanted my employees to be motivated at work, so I became the department's #1 cheerleader. I brought in cookies, games, and rewards. I didn't notice a difference, so I then brought in even more treats, upping the ante. It still didn't work. The result? I spent hours trying to re-charge their battery, while draining my own.

It was only when I understood the concept of coaching, and motivating an employee from within, that I noticed a change in my team's productivity. It was only when I truly listened to them, and asked them for their ideas and input, that things started to shift as a team. It was only when I stood back and let them create their own solutions that I saw the department's energy level and motivation increase.

It wasn't the cookies, games or prizes that created the change. It was helping employees find their own generator, though coaching, that created the strong motivational team that won many, many awards.

Five Tips for Good Coaching Questions, Part 5

In my last blog, I talked about Tip #4 for asking a good coaching question. Let's look at Tip #5 today.

Five Tips for Good Coaching Questions

1. Keep them Open
2. Keep them Short and Stupid
3. Keep them Advice-Free
4. Keep them Forward-Focused
5. Keep them Thought Provoking

5. Keep them Thought Provoking

If a coachee asks you for coaching, chances are that the person has thought about the coaching issue for a long time, in multiple ways. They have thought about the causes, possible solutions and everything in between. Now they need you to help them think bigger than what's in front of them.

As a manager, you want to empower your employees to think out of the box and find innovative solutions to their problems. The problems could be task-related, such as "how to improve sales" or they could be process-related, such as "how to collaborate better with the team". Thought-provoking questions work in both situations. Either way, it's important to help the coachee think bigger than their usual ideas.

Thought provoking questions may take awhile to answer, so it's OK if the employee doesn't have an immediate reply. You want the employee to think about the question and really look at it from all angles before answering. The sign of a good thought-provoking question is when the employee comes to you a week after you asked the question and says, "I've been mulling your question over. It really made me think."

So how do you do this? When an employee comes to you with a problem, think about questions that will stretch the employee - questions that cannot be answered right away.

Here's an example:

Coachee:

I'm certain that Plan X is the right way to go but I'm getting vibes that others disagree with me. What do I do?

Typical manager reply:

I think Plan X is a good idea too. So I think you should hold a meeting to discuss your points and persuade the others that your plan is the best.

Better coaching question:
Where will Plan X take the company, and this team, in 10 years? And where will it take you personally in 10 years?
(This will likely prompt the coachee to ask for more time to think about the question. The coach would then invite the coachee to let her know when she's ready to discuss it in more detail.)


In my next blog, I'll discuss more tips about using the word "why" in coaching questions.

Five Tips for Good Coaching Questions, Part 4

In my last blog, I talked about Tip #3 for asking a good coaching question. Let's look at Tip #4 today.

Five Tips for Good Coaching Questions

1. Keep them Open
2. Keep them Short and Stupid
3. Keep them Advice-Free
4. Keep them Forward-Focused
5. Keep them Thought Provoking

4. Keep them Forward Focused
As a manager, it's easy to stay in the past and constantly fight fires. It's hard to lift your head from your daily tasks and actually get a sense of where your ship is heading. I get it. At one point in my career, I managed 2 hotels and a safari camp in Africa, with a total of 400+ staff and 400+ guests. I know what it's like to barely manage my workload, let alone plan for the future.

Yet, it's a manager's job to get out of the weeds, stay forward focused and coach your employees to do the same. Otherwise, you and your team will barely move forward; you'll just stay in the same place, treading water.

So how do you do this? When an employee comes to your with a problem, take a step back and try to see how this problem could impact the department's strategic vision. Think about how the solution to the problem will impact the team, and organization, in a year. This will give you and your employee a very different perspective.

Here's an example:

Coachee:
I can't work with Sue anymore. She cut me off again in today's meeting. I want you to talk to her about it.

Typical manager reply:
She did? What did she say? Then what did you say? Then what was her reply? Let me have a word with her.... (This line of questions keeps the coachee in the past, and dis-empowers her from finding her own solution.)

Better coaching question:
Coach: I can see that you're angry about this. What upsets you the most?

Coachee: The fact that she doesn't respect my ideas.

Coach: I get it. What's your contribution to the problem?

Coachee: Me? I dunno....maybe I don't stand up for myself when she cuts me off.

Coach: And how does that impact the organization?

Coachee: My ideas don't contribute to the bottom line.

Coach: That's a big loss. What would happen if you stood up for yourself?

Coachee: I'd be more excited about working here. I'd speak up more. And listen more, because I wouldn't be fuming in meetings. I'd collaborate better with others because I felt heard.

Coach: So how do you want to handle this in the future?

Coachee: I'll remind Sue that I wasn't finished with my thoughts and then finish them. Then I'll listen to what she and others have to say about my idea.

Coach: Great! I know this will be hard at first...I also know that you can do it. Keep me posted on your progress.

In my next blog, I'll discuss Tip #4. Until then...stay forward focused!

Five Tips for Good Coaching Questions, Part 3

In my last blog, I talked about Tip #2 for asking a good coaching question. Let's look at Tip #3 today.

Five Tips for Good Coaching Questions

1. Keep them Open
2. Keep them Short and Stupid
3. Keep them Advice-Free
4. Keep them Forward-Focused
5. Keep them Thought Provoking

3. Keep them Advice Free
Managers got where they are because they're good at fixing things, handling crisis' and thinking on their feet. So when an employee approaches a manager with a problem, it's second nature for a manager to give advice on how to fix the problem.

However, if a manager keeps fixing everything for her employees, she'll never have time to do her own work, which is executing the company vision. In addition the employee won't feel valued, and will always go to the manager for a solution instead of creating her own solution.

As a coach, a manager should avoid telling an employee how to solve a problem. She wants to empower her employees to find their own solutions, which may be even better than the manager's solution. So it's important to ask questions that are not disguised as advice. Common pitfalls include questions such as: "Have you tried X?" or "Why don't you think about doing it this way?" or "What if you did Y?"

Here's an example:

Coachee:
We missed our sales target again and my team is feeling discouraged.

Typical manager reply:
Why don't you try some team-building to lift morale? After that, maybe you could contact HR for some sales training? I bet that would work.

Better coaching question:
What's the biggest challenge your team is facing?
(Follow-up question) How would you overcome that challenge?

In my next blog, I'll discuss Tip #4. Until then...watch out for those questions that are disguised as advice!

Five Tips for Good Coaching Questions, Part 2

In my last blog, I talked about Tip #1 for asking a good coaching question. Let's look at Tip #2 today.

Five Tips for Good Coaching Questions

1. Keep them Open
2. Keep them Short and Stupid
3. Keep them Advice-Free
4. Keep them Forward-Focused
5. Keep them Thought Provoking

2. Keep them Short and Stupid
A new manager may want to impress an employee with a long-winded, well-crafted question. However, short questions (no more than 10 words) keep the conversation flowing and make a better impact on the coachee.

In addition, questions that may seem "stupid"are often the best because it shows that you, as the coach, don't have all the answers and trust that the coachee does. Since a manager's job is not to fix the problem, but to empower her employee to fix the problem, "stupid" questions allow the coach to ask questions that may prompt some new thinking about the problem.

Coachee:
We missed our sales target again and my team is feeling discouraged.

Typical manager reply:
Yes, I've been thinking about that for awhile. I also did some reading in some of my college books and think that the problem may be related to the model on page 37 of this book. What do you think?

Better coaching question:
What's the impact on you?
(This may seem stupid as the coachee already said that the team is feeling discouraged, but the team may also be feeling resentful, angry, ready to quit and other things that need to be considered.)

The typical manager reply sounds like the manager isn't truly listening to the coachee and has already solved the problem in his head. The coachee then feels that she has to use the manager's idea. So instead of empowering the coachee, the manager has just taken the problem on himself, instead of allowing the coachee to figure it out for herself. Consequently, the coachee will expect the manager to fix her problems in the future, which results in the manager often working on employee minutia instead of executing the organization strategy and vision. That's a lose-lose-lose for the coachee, coach and organization!

In my next blog, I'll go through the other three tips for good coaching questions. In the meantime, give it a try....when you're next talking to an employee or colleague, practice asking short and stupid questions and see what happens. You'll be surprised to see how the conversation opens up!

Five Tips for Good Coaching Questions

People always ask me, "What exactly is coaching and how is it different from any other conversation?"

A coaching conversation is different from other conversations due to the amount of questions asked, and the type of questions asked.

In general, a coach should be doing 80% listening and 20% talking. If a coach is doing more talking than listening, then the coach is training or lecturing. There's nothing wrong with training or lecturing, in certain situations. However, it's not coaching. But if a coach is asking some powerful questions and then listening most of the time, you have a situation where the coachee is finding the solutions herself, instead of being told what to do. This frees up the coach to work on other projects and empowers the coachee to move forward on her own.

So what makes a good coaching question? Here are five tips to keep in mind:

1. Keep them Open
2. Keep them Short and Stupid
3. Keep them Advice-Free
4. Keep them Forward-Focused
5. Keep them Thought Provoking

1. Keep them Open
A coach wants her coachee to determine the problem and solutions by himself. Asking open questions that start with what, who and how allows this to happen; using questions that start with did, will, have and why actually shut down a conversation. Here is an example:

Coachee:
I missed my deadline again.

Typical manager reply:
Yea, I know. Why did you do that?

Better coaching question:
What got in your way?

The typical manager reply puts the coachee on the defensive, making him defend himself. The coaching question opens up the situation, without judgment or blame. It allows the coachee to focus on what got in the way, and then eventually what he wants to be different in the future and then eventually what steps he'll take to get there.

In my next blog, I'll go through the other four tips for good coaching questions. In the meantime, give it a try....when you're next talking to an employee, student, child or colleague, practice asking questions that begin with what, who or how and see what happens. You'll be surprised to see how the conversation opens up!

What Is This Thing Called Coaching?

"What is this thing called coaching?" I must get asked that question 10 times a day. I admit that coaching is a very vague term. When I say that I'm a certified coach, people ask if I coach sports teams. When I say that I actually coach business teams, people look surprised. 'Why would a business team need coaching', they ask? Because business teams are just like sports teams:

• They are made up of different people who try to reach a team goal together.
• Each person on the team has individual goals, as well as the team goal, in mind.
• Each person on the team has his/her own communication style, which may or may not work well with the others on the team.
• Although there is one official leader (the coach or captain), there are usually other team members who carry as much weight, if not more weight, than the official leader.

Just like a sports team, successful business teams have to practice, communicate clearly and delegate roles. They often need an 'outsider' to coach them to success, whether the whole team or just some of the team leaders. That's what I do. I coach teams and leaders to get from Point A to Point B, in the most effective way possible. I work with individuals, companies and non-profits. During the years, many people have asked for a practical book on coaching, so they can bring coaching skills to their own teams. That's how my book, "A Manager's Guide to Coaching" was created, thanks to my many, many clients. Here is a great write up about one of the book topics: How to create effective coaching questions. Enjoy!

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Who's Got Your Back?

Everyone needs support. Whether you're a presidential candidate wanting to win the race, a start-up wanting to grow quickly, a Fortune 100 looking to create a new product or an aspiring author looking for book endorsements, you need support to keep moving forward. So how do you get that support to grow in the direction you want?

The first step is to identify the type of support you need and the best person to approach for this support. Do you want a mentor or a coach? Some training or a master-mind group? And who is the best person for you at this point in your life?

Then you want to consider why this person would consider supporting you. What will they get out of it? What benefit will they receive? Will they get positive PR and exposure? A lead with someone you know? Remuneration? Or a plaque?

The next step is to create a client-centered mindset, instead of a "me"-centered mindset. You want to know what your potential supporter thinks, reads and believes. You want to know where this supporter eats, exercises and shops. Most importantly you want to know what this supporter values in life. Once you know this, then find the connections between yourself and this person and approach the person for support.

Finally, the most important step is to be persistent and keep following-up. This is called the '6 Times' rule. You want this person to hear from you at least 6 times, in different ways. So you may follow-up by email, with a voice mail, in a postcard, with a cake and balloons, at a meeting, in a video, on a CD and any other way you can think of to catch their attention.

So how does this work in real life? Let's say that you want Oprah to endorse your book. The first step is to research everything you can on her. Learn all about her habits, likes, dislikes, beliefs and values. Then start to see where you and she may intersect. You may not shop on Rodeo Drive, but you both support orphanages in Africa. In addition, your book topic is on personal growth, a strong value of hers. Finally, you have heard the same lecturer as she has, but at different times. Now it's time to approach her, in writing. Tell her what she'll get out of supporting you: the chance to help your orphanage in Africa, since a portion of your book profits will go to that orphanage. So you write a compelling letter mentioning your commonalities and ask her to support your book. Then you keep following-up.

Far fetched for Oprah? Maybe...but the same process applies to finding support for your business:

1. Identify whom you want to support you
2. Identify what kind of support you need and how this person can provide this
3. identify what benefit this person would receive out of supporting you
4. Research the person so well that you can practically think and act like this person
5. Find at least 3 commonalities with this person
6. Approach the person with a compelling and memorable letter or phone call
7. Be persistent....never give up!

Creating Goals That Last

It's March....the most challenging month of the year for most people. Me included. I'm ready for sunshine and being warm outside, only to be taunted by cold days and mild snow flurries. And if that wasn't bad enough, most people's New Year resolutions have gone by the wayside. Very depressing indeed....

I can't help you with the weather. But I might be able to help you create goals that will last for the rest of the year. First, let's look at the definition of an effective goal. A goal is about someone else and how they’ll feel, know and/or act differently because of actions you took. It's not only about what you're going to do and by when; it's about the impact your action will have on someone else.

There are two aspects of an effective goal:

a) The goal must be value-centered
b) The goal must answer the question "so what"?

I-centered vs. Value-centered Goals
I-centered goals are tasks. Plain and simple. ("I will do X…"). When you add another task to your list, you can get overwhelmed and wonder where to begin.

Value-centered goals are fulfilling and motivating, coming from your values and purpose. When you add something to your day that is value-centered, you get excited about it because it's coming from your core values. You want to do it right away!

Some examples of 'I-centered' goals would be:

• I will write 2 chapters of my book by June.
• I will have 10 clients signed up for my trip by September.
• I will have 10 coaching clients by October.
  

Some examples of the same goal, written with 'value-centered' ideas in mind would be:

• The publisher will sign a contract for my book by June, allowing me to make a difference in the reader's life by December.
• 10 people will be inspired to change their life for the better in October because of my trip.
• By October, I will coach 10 people on how to change their destructive patterns, in a shorter period of time than they thought possible.
  

So what?
When you're looking at the 'so-what' factor, you're really asking yourself: 'What’s the impact of this goal? What does someone else feel, know and/or act differently, because of actions I took?' You're looking at your goal from a higher level, to remind yourself why that goal is important. This is especially important when you're tired and don't want to take the steps to execute the goal.

So the same examples could be changed to more effective goals by asking "so what?".

• I will finish 2 chapters of my book by June, so the publisher can sign a contract for my book by July.
• I will have 10 clients signed up for my trip by September, so that I can pay the tour guides a nice Christmas bonus ahead of time.
  
• I will have 10 coaching clients by October, so that my husband can work part-time and start his masters degree in November.

Now, it's time to tie it all together into a goal that is value-centered and answers 'so what?'. The same examples could look like this:

• I will finish 2 chapters of my book by June, so the publisher can sign a book contract with me by July, allowing me to make a difference in the reader's life by December.
• I will have 10 clients signed up for my trip by September, so that I can pay the tour guides a nice Christmas bonus ahead of time. These 10 clients will be inspired to change their life for the better in October, because of my trip.
• By October, I will coach 10 people on how to change their destructive patterns, in a shorter period of time than they thought possible, so that my husband can work part-time and start his masters degree in November.
  

Now it's your turn. Look at your goals and see if they pass the 'so-what' and value-centered tests. If not, add these two components to your current goals and notice how different they are. Your new goals may seem long, so feel free to shorten them. Just be sure to keep the key points in there. And now see how long it takes you to complete them. I bet these new goals will last for the rest of the year!

Distractions

I've always had a a hard time focusing on just one thing, especially since I had my 3-year old daughter. In fact, my business partner now accuses me of having the attention span of a toddler. One of my clients has a similar challenge. She calls it being distracted by "shiny things". I can relate. Shiny things are fun and exciting. They can open up new doors of possibilities. For someone like me, "shiny things" smack of entrepreneurialism. Much more fun than the mundane job of daily operations.

Or so I thought, until my coach introduced me to "laser focus". When I'd complain that it was boring to focus on just 1-2 projects in a day, he'd remind me that focus doesn't mean hard work, 24/7. In fact, it's just the opposite. It's putting an intense laser on a project for a short period of time. During that time, I focus on what's going to be the most effective use of my time to make the biggest impact on that project. So instead of looking at the "shiny things" of possibilities for that project, I laser in on what's actually going to work that day. Then I walk away...no need to keep working on that project as I did the most effective thing for the day. That then allows me to laser focus on another project. So in a day, I may do 3-4 hours of laser focus on a number of projects, allowing me to move forward on many projects without getting stuck in the day-to-day routine of each project.

The impact? More fun. More free time. More energy. More projects that actually work, rather than projects that "may" work. Fewer "shiny things", but that's OK. I'd rather have a successful project than a "shiny" project that never worked. How about you? Give it a try and see what happens. You may be pleasantly surprised!

Fifteen Minutes of Fame

One of my clients recently told me that everyone wants to be "slightly famous". I agreed that 15 minutes of fame would be nice. Until I did the first event for my book, "A Manager's Guide to Coaching". The idea of a book signing is exciting...glamorous...even fun. However, as the day drew close, I grew neurotic about the event.

First of all, what do you actually say at a book signing? I have no problem meeting people at networking events. After all, I am an executive coach. It's my job to engage people by asking thought-provoking questions. But that's when I have time to talk to someone. Book signing is like speed dating. "Hi. What interests you about coaching?" could bring on ten minutes of conversation, while other people wait in line. I had no idea what to say.

Then there's the inscription. What exactly do you write? "To Joe, From Anne" sounds too much like a holiday card to a neighbor. "Happy Coaching, Joe!" sounds too cheery. "May all your dreams come true" sounds like the good witch in The Wizard of Oz. I had no clue what to write.

I next panicked about my signature. My hand writing is tiny chicken scratch. My signature is literally a cursive "A" with a line. No one ever believes it's my real signature. Even the banks question my signature on a check. So should I fake my signature and legibly write out my name? I like to give my clients value, so will my book be more valuable on EBay in 10 years with my real signature, or a fake one? I was now frozen with fear.

And finally, there's the wardrobe. The book is written in a fairly hip and trendy style. But the book event audience is a conservative, business group. So what do I wear? I start to wonder why I didn't hire that fashion consultant last month and what ever inspired me to grow out my hair, resulting in the flying nun look? I eventually manage to pull together an outfit and tame my hair, but at this point I am nauseous as I enter the room. Maybe being slightly famous is not what I want after all.

I settle myself behind the table and start to greet people as they approach. The first person says says that he's looking forward to learning how to improve company morale with coaching. A mother wants to use the book's coaching model to improve her relationship with her teenage daughter. A school principle wants to incorporate some of the coaching questions into new curriculum. A CEO wants to create a coaching program for her organization.

I relax. I see that it doesn't matter what I wear or write in the book; it's not about me. I start to smile as I remember that this is why I wrote the book. To make a difference in people's lives. To give them tools that will help them deepen conversations, whether at home or at work. To help companies operate more effectively. If this is what book signings are about, then I'm happy to be slightly famous for tonight, so that my book can change a few people's lives tomorrow.

Celebrating Accomplishments

I admit it. I'm a hypocrite. I tell my clients to celebrate their milestone achievements, but I rarely do it myself. Take my upcoming book, "A Manager's Guide to Coaching" for example. Did my co-author and I celebrate when we got an agent? No..we panicked on how to write a book proposal. Did we pop the champagne when we got a publisher? Uhhh...we got excited on the phone for about 10 minutes; does that count? Did we party when the manuscript was complete? Hmmm..I think we managed to email each other a congratulatory email a week later. And now that our book is available on Amazon.com and about to hit the bookstores, have we celebrated? No. In fact, it took a congratulatory email from a friend to remind me that I should probably plan a party.

Don't get me wrong. I AM excited! This book is one of my major life dreams. I'm secretly smiling on the inside; I'm just not very good at celebrating on the outside. Why? The usual excuses. "I'm too busy. It's not *that* big of a deal. I'll celebrate after we sell the first 100,000 copies." The problem is that I'm always planning for the future instead of living out today. I'm always saying "When this happens...then I'll celebrate." Hello? This has happened! I have published a book with a major publishing house! If now is not the time to celebrate, when is?!

I should know better. After all, I am an executive coach who tells people to take the time to celebrate their success. I know the positive psychological impact celebrations can bring to a team and to individuals. My husband is great at celebrating. He's always getting a DVD or a new gadget for himself because he reached one of his goals. I'm secretly jealous; I want to get a new DVD or toy for myself! But he's not stopping me. No one is stopping me but myself, my internal stories and my external patterns.

So guess what? I'm going to make the time to celebrate with a big party. And you're all invited! Why? Because slowing down to relish this major milestone will help me move forward to the next milestone of selling 100,000 books. It's an important step to recognize all of my accomplishments, big and small.

So if I can do it, you can too. What are you going to celebrate today?

What's in it for me?

WIIFM stands for “What’s in it for me?”. Let’s face it...when looking at anything, we all want to know what’s in it for me. What’s in it for me if I volunteer on this committee? What’s in it for me if I take on this extra work project? What’s in it for me if I become involved in this relationship? When we know that, we know if it’s a worthwhile use of our time. We know if it’s a match with what’s important to us. We know if it will help us move toward our personal and professional goals.

Yet, it’s also important to flip the table and look at WIIFM from the other perspective too. I had a client who was coordinating a large, multi-organizational project worth millions of dollars. She had never done this before; neither had the office worked together in this way before. Before we even started planning the strategy for managing this group, I asked her what was in it for her to manage this project? She was a bit surprised; she hadn’t thought of that before. When I asked her what she wanted to get out of the project, she became clear that she wanted to gain the attention of the CEO and be able to work directly with him in the future. She also wanted the group to have a voice in the process, rather than her controlling the outcome. Once she became clear on her WIIFM, she was able to easily plan her strategy for managing this project.

At her first meeting with the group, she asked all of the participants for their WIIFM. Most people were surprised and asked her why she was interested. She told them that if she knew their goals in this project, then she could help them achieve those goals. If someone wanted to work with another person as their WIIFM, she could help make that happen. If someone was looking for more experience in a new area, she could partner that person with a more experienced colleague. Knowing their WIIFMs in advance would allow her to create a win-win for everyone involved. Once everyone saw that stating their WIIFM would help, not hinder, their progress, they gladly told her what they wanted out of the project. The project is finished yet, so I can't 100% report that her WIIFM strategy worked, but I do know that it got off to a great start just by asking a simple question: "What's in it for you?"